As I was saying ... yesterday brought about a treasure that had been packed away since our move. What amazed me was the fresh reminder of HOW committed a family is before they EVER see their child's face. It can be hard for outsiders, even extended family, to understand that kind of love and commitment. But, as I read our daughter's journal, I was made fresh aware of how deeply that commitment was to get to her. So, for you fellow adoptive families ... I know you'll relate to this next journal entry. For those of you on the outside of that ... perhaps it will give you a peek into one momma's heart and what the process is like. The photo shows where our sweet babe spent her first nine months of life. She had the crib back in the far corner. I wrote about that experience HERE.
Journal entry: (this entry was six months into the process and it would be still 5 MONTHS before we'd see her face, let alone the remainder of the wait to get to her)
What a week it has been. I got really ill after my gallbladder surgery. It turned into a horrendous ordeal ... but now I'm back at home. You, my precious one, were on my mind through it all. I wanted to give up .... the pain was just unbearable. But then I'd think of you and I knew you were counting on me. How can I ever express to you how much I love you? My soul aches to come to you and wrap you up in a momma's love. "Are you okay?" is a question that haunts me every day. "Will you know it's me? ... when I see you for the first time?" "Will my voice comfort you?" Our paperwork is nearing completion!! We are so excited. We pray that it all goes through quickly and that miraculously we'll be united in little time. We want you home ... I long to know that you're safe. As much as I love you ... I know that our heavenly father loves you even more. It is a comfort to know that He is in control. What a glorious day it will be my precious one .. to finally see you. Love, Momma
Adoption isn't just some flippant "idea". It is a commitment that goes as deep as the very make-up of the human being. I think that's often why criticism cuts so deeply. Maybe you're a family in process and you know that kind of pain. Maybe saying "yes" to adoption meant turning from your extended family in some way. Maybe you have fears that you can't even vocalize. Rest assured that the One who called you will be faithful. He's ALL about adoption. Not just adopting children who have no family .... but about YOU!
Losing my earthly father recently has made me even more deeply aware of the Father's love for me. Often my heart aches for those still waiting. Yet, I am reminded that they don't wait alone. The One who created them is waiting with them .... waiting for you and me to CARE. Will you care? .... care about what He cares about? There are so many ways to serve the Fatherless.